Past, Future, & Present Danger (Book Two of The Absurd Misadventures of Captain Rescue)

by: Joshua Price

Available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords

Synopsis:
When Captain Rescue discovers that tyrannical apes are capturing forest-goers, he jumps into action in a valiant attempt to stop them, more or less.

As the hilarious adventure goes everything but according to plan, the hero finds himself transported into the future, where the apes have gone a bit beyond mere abductions. The shock sets in, and Captain Rescue and his time-displaced friends conclude that the only way to prevent a future that has already happened is to go back in time and rewrite it.

Will Captain Rescue somehow be able to set things right, or will these apes make a monkey out of him?

"Past, Future, & Present Danger" is the hilarious continuation of Captain Rescue’s absurd misadventures, and the sequel to “Not Everything Brainless is Dead”.

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The cover art is very comic book campy, and that fits. This isn't a comic book, but it's super hero silly all the way. There are a lot of bigfoots in the story, thus the "dirty ape" on the cover. I wonder if this is George, one of the bad bigfoot leaders.

This is the 2nd novel with this close gang of heroes. There's Dr. Malevolence, the inept super-villain. Freight who has married Courtney since the last book (Courtney is his shotgun) and they have a cleaning rag as a son. Charlie, guy in a big, blue and magical bunny costume. And Captain Rescue, the even more inept super-hero.

They are brought together again by the nagging of Captain Rescue who has decided since the great Zombie adventure that they are all the best of friends. He plans a camping weekend. They run into the bigfoots and the adventure takes off from there. Watch out for those dolphins!

As I said for the first book, it's pure silliness that tickles my funny bone to the core. The humor is outlandish, not even a little subtle.

If you like the Batman, Spiderman, even Superman stories and have a wicked sense of humor you will have fun with these books by Joshua Price.

Free eBooks November 10, 2011

Here are some eBooks I found that are free to download. I looked at Barnes & Noble first, I will link there and Amazon if they have it as well. I have not read these books, so this list isn't one of recommendations, just a list of free books I thought looked interesting.

1. Black Market Billions: How Organized Retail Crime Funds Global Terrorists by Hitha Prabhakar - B&N, Amazon

Black Market Billions blows the lid off the world’s fastest-growing illicit industry: organized retail crime. Hitha Prabhakar reveals how criminals with ties to terrorist groups around the world are committing huge product thefts, and using the profits to fund terrorist acts. Prabhakar connects the dots and follows the money… from consumers “dying for a deal” to terrorist cells eager to do the killing.

2. Angelic Voices by Deb Logan - B&N, Smashwords

Twelve-year-old Deanne Lawyer has a beautiful voice and a problem — her choir director just reassigned her descant solo to Sucky Susie Emerson! Deanne will have to use all the wiles her life as the little sister of five brothers has provided to reclaim her rights in time to wow the director of the adult choir for the annual Easter Cantata. Better watch out, Susie. Deanne is on a mission!

3. Wraiths of Caledonia by Damian Foyle - B&N, Smashwords

The night cycle falls on the mining planet of Caledonia. Only minutes away from the sundown Colonel Maser must embark on a rescue mission, racing against time and harsh oncoming conditions as the only native inhabitant of the planet starts to surface from their nests.

4. Haunted by Willow Cross - B&N, Smashwords

Have you ever heard something go bump in the night and wondered if someone was there? Only to go looking for the cause of the noise and find nothing at all. Or how about unexplainably feeling like you’re being watched when you’re completely alone? Things disappearing for no reason or strange ghostly footsteps in the hall?

This book is a collage of short stories about a few of the otherworldly experiences I’ve had. Although they are not movie worthy, you may find them interesting. All the stories are 100% true. Nothing has been added for dramatic effect.

5. Ignite by Brina Courtney - B&N, Smashwords

Ignite is a bonus short story from the Cryptid Tales Series

Jeremy has no last name. His family has left him at Marksville Orphanage in rural eastern Virginia, hoping to find work during the end of the Great Depression. Unfortunately Jeremy is never adopted, because HE intervened before Jeremy ever had the chance. Ignite is just a piece of his story.
Don’t miss Reveal, the next installment in the Cryptid Tales available December 16, 2011.

The Witches' Book of the Dead

Available at Weiser Online Bookstore, Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Synopsis:
In The Witches' Book of the Dead, modern-day Salem Warlock Christian Day shows how the spirits of our beloved dead can be summoned to perform such tasks as helping you to discover hidden opportunities, influence the minds of others, seduce the object of your affection, and even reach into the dreams of the unwary. According to legend, the Spirits of the dead can confer magical talents, fame, love, and wealth on those brave enough to summon them.

The Witches' Book of the Dead explores the enduring relationship between witches and the dead and teaches rituals and incantations to help readers open doorways to the spirit world.

Topics include:

• Legendary Witches who have raised the dead, including The Witch of Endor, Circe, and Erichtho
  
• Creating ancestral altars and building relationships with spirits
  
• The tools of Necromancy: the bronze dagger, yew wand, iron keys, graveyard dust, the offering cauldron, spirit powders, the human skull, and more.
  
• Methods of spirit contact, including automatic writing, scrying mirrors, spirit boards, pendulums, and spirit mediumship
  
• The ancient arts of necromancy as a method of conjuring the dead to assist in magic
  
• Ridding yourself of unwanted spirits using rituals of cleansing, banishing and exorcism
  
• Ghost hunting techniques that combine psychic wisdom with modern technology
  
• Communing with the dead in dreams
  
• Sacred holidays and powerful celebrations of the dead
  
• Resources on where to ethically obtain the tools of the trade
  
• An overview of the feared deities of the Underworld
  
• Rituals, recipes, exercises, and more!

Dare to walk between the worlds with Christian Day as he guides you across the River Styx into the shadowy realms where the dead long to connect with us once more!

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I started this book with all sorts of misconceptions. Christian Day - and this is no secret to him - is kind of out there on the fringe. He is testing limits, making people uncomfortable. Nothing he does would be considered "normal." There's a skull on the cover - and I learned this guy has a name, Robert. And in his author picture he is holding Robert and an Anubis rattle.

Once I got through the first chapter my mind was blown away. The forward was written by Raven Grimassi, another well known witch author. And the respect he has for Christian was impressive. As for the book, it is full to bursting with rituals, information and stories. There are 6 pages for the bibliography and a few more for notes. There's even an index and an appendix. Appendix A has recipes for Spirit Powder, Necromancy Incense, Anointing Oil, and Food for the Dead. Appendix B lists several "Deities of the Dead." And Appendix C lists several resources to find the needed items to perform any of the rituals in the book.

The writing itself was entertaining and insightful. Even if you have no hint of desire to explore necromancy, you could still enjoy this book. I was fascinated by the rituals and the anecdotal evidence throughout the book, but the myths he scattered through as background gripped me. Christian Day gets kudos for being a great author as well as informed. I swear I love this guy now!

This is a very serious book. It is light reading for some parts, but Christian doesn't hold back on the warnings. These rituals are serious and dealing with the dead is extremely serious. He tells you things you need, but follows them with fair warning. Like obtaining a skull, he gives you a website where you can obtain skulls legally and reminds readers that desecrating graves is illegal and will land you in jail. There is call for blood offerings (only ever a few drops), but over and over and over again he tells readers to use a clean lancet from the drugstore. And also when working in groups to avoid the blood all together. There is balance within these pages.

He takes the free-love hippie out of Wicca and brings back a bit of the witchcraft and necromancy (divination through communication with the dead) of old, along with a healthy dose of common sense. Next thing I am doing with this book is reading it again. Sorry you are going to have to get your own (it is available as an eBook).

MyMemories Freebie Day

I created this scrapbook page using this week's Share the Memories Freebie. Click on the picture to get the freebie for yourself. It includes 2 quick pages, 2 papers and 3 elements.

I had fun making this one. I used the red paper as my paper, and added the 2nd paper as an embellishment and twisted it for extra color. I added a diamond shape for the picture of Ivan with his trains. The ribbon element made a great frame, and the zipper tag as a title embellishment. I used the red paper as the background area for the journaling. The buttons on the picture are not included with this kit, but they are included with the software as embellishments.

You do not have to own MyMemories software to create these pages, you can download the kit and use it with your favorite editing software. But if you do want to purchase the software, use the code - STMMMS94433 - to get $10 off and $10 in free kits. And yes I get $20 for myself as well, but I'm not in this for the money. I really like the software and the kits. It's a lot of fun.

Go see MyMemories on Facebook for challenges and giveaways. They are often hosting giveaways for software and kits, so come join the fun and maybe you'll win the software.

Opal Fire

by: Barbra Annino

Available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords.

Synopsis:
This is book one of the Stacy Justice mystery series--laugh out loud crime fiction with a paranormal twist.

Stacy Justice is a small town reporter who was raised by witches. They believe she has a far higher calling than writing articles about the local lizard race. She's just happy she doesn't have to live with them anymore. But when her cousin's bar catches fire and she barely escapes with her life--family squabbles no longer matter. Something cryptic is uncovered in the rubble that changes everything. Stacy is thrust into a cat and mouse game as she seeks to unveil the cause of the blaze that nearly destroyed her family. Suddenly, she finds herself running from a killer that will stop at nothing to keep a secret.

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This story centers around Stacy, called Anastasia by her grandma Birdie. She is a reporter in a small tourist town, dating the police chief. She has a Great Dane named Thor, who is a big goofy puppy but a well trained one thanks to her cousin Cinnamon. Cinnamon is half Italian and Cin's mother is 100% Italian, always cooking and yelling at her creepy brother from the old country. As if it weren't goofy enough in Stacy's family with Grandma Birdie and Birdie's sisters. The town is also full of quirky characters, such as every small town has.

Opal Fire was a wild, silly, well-written tale. I have heard it described as a mystery with a paranormal bend. I would say that's the best description. Stacy is a reporter and wants to get to the bottom of who burned down the bar and murdered the girl discovered there. Very much a mystery novel. She is dating Leo, the police chief who butts heads with her at every turn. I felt that part was a little too romance novel, but I was still rooting for them. I felt like Stacy didn't know how or if she even wanted to embrace her witchiness.

Barbra did a great job keeping the story flowing and the writing consistent. There were a great many conversations that turned into silly banter and made me giggle.

I love the title, Opal Fire. Opal Fire has a catchy cover in dark orange. Kind of a twilight kind of color, but fits in with the overall fire and Imbolc theme as well.

This novel as a fast read. At times I did wish it would slow down, but that was only because I didn't want to finish so fast. Seriously, it was super fast. An occasional slow down would have been nice, just to let the poor girl get her breath. But at the same time, when I think about that, that may not have worked. A murder is serious business and isn't going to let you get a dinner date in before the next thing happens. Poor Stacy is so busy, she barely sleeps as it is.

The story takes place in Amethyst, Illinois, which is a fictional town. But the description is a good one. A town that fully depends on the tourism they catch from people traveling east and west. There are far too many towns in that boat. They can't afford to put off the tourists, and try to keep the bigger crimes quiet. Stacy feels the pressure to keep the murder and fire out of the weekend editions - which are printed with visiting tourists in mind.

Sunday Stealing: The Madness Meme, Part 1

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? EWWWWW, no I get my glasses cleaner or peanut butter.

2. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated? Oh goodness, I think the one guy was 10 years or so my senior. Which is weird because I've had crushes on much older men. But then again they probably aren't trolling the internet looking for a date with me. lol

3. Ever been in a car wreck? Just a few very minor ones.

4. Were you popular in high school? Good god no! I was invisible as long as I stayed out of the way.

5. Have you ever been on a blind date? Not really, although I was finding my dates online, so it was sort of blind.

6. Are looks important? Not really, looks fade with time so it's better to have someone you can stand to be around.

7. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more? Yes, my friend from High School, although we parted ways for awhile we are talking again. And my BFF Peggy who I met 11 years ago...

8. By what age would you like to be married? Well I've been married over 6 years now so I don't think this question really applies.

9. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them? Nope, mostly I don't want to know.

10. Have you ever made a mistake? No I'm a totally perfect person in every way. Ok now pick yourself up off the floor and read the next question. ;-)

11. Are you a good tipper? Yes, as long as our server is friendly and attentive we are very good tippers. We even forgive kitchen problems, but if the server is neglectful, then we will reflect that in the tip.

12. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut? I don't know. Mostly now if I go for a haircut I go to the beauty school and it's only $7.

13. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Oh yeah, my high school history/economics teacher. He was so enthusiastic about the subjects he taught, for some reason I found that smokin' hot.

14. Have you ever peed in public? What the hell does this mean? Like did I ever drop trow in the middle of the mall? Who does that? Public restroom, yeah-who hasn't?

15. What song do you want played at your funeral? I don't want a funeral.

16. Would you tell your parents if you were gay? Yes I would. Although I don't want to share my ideas about religion or politics, so figure that one out. lol

17. What would your last meal be before getting executed? Black and Blue Burger from Mountain Town and then an ice cream cookie.

18. Beatles or Stones? Beatles, although Stones don't suck.

19. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be? I don't want that responsibility. I guess if I had to choose it would be me. I'm not taking anyone else's life in my hands.

20. Beer, wine or hard liquor? hard liquor, I love my rum and cranberry juice.

21. Do you have any phobias? Well I already told you about the dark, I'm also afraid of heights and spiders and bees/hornets.

22. What are your plans for the future? A nap...yeah I want to take a nap. After that, who knows. Ok, seriously I want to work in the book industry. A proofreader, copy-editor, something like that.